The Current age parenting can be very demanding and competitive:
Some of us feel anxious
that our child may be ‘lagging behind’ – “My child is scoring in 90s but she
doesn’t understand that is not good enough”.
Some of us feel we
are not providing sufficient opportunities – “I know my child is a genius I
wish I could send her to a better school I am sure she would then outshine
everybody”.
Some of us work long
hours and struggle to fit in time with our children and this makes us feel
guilty – “My son would have surely won the competition only if I had more time
to help him”.
Some of us are
overpowered by the intense nature of the attachment between parent and child. Anger,
pride, frustration and love provide a powerful cocktail of emotions resulting
in everyday power conflicts.
Some of us see our
self worth in our children’s success
Some of us judge ourselves
based on our children’s behaviours.
In the process of coping with these everyday parenting
demands,
We have forgotten what it’s like to be the child and what
it is like to be parent to the child.
We have lost the empathy for our own children and how it
must feel for them to be dependent on us.
We have forgotten the art of listening to our children and
being there for them.
We have forgotten that the children are constantly
watching us and what we do really matters to them.
As
per the experts the children’s cognitive, social, emotional, and physical
development is affected by not what parents desire but
Who parents are - their intelligence, temperament, attitude, behaviour
What
parents know - about child development and normative child behavior
What
parents believe – their attitudes toward childrearing
What
parents value - education, achievement, obedience, interpersonal
relationships
What
parent expect of their children – achievements, moral values, attitude,
manners
What
parents ultimately do - their parenting practices and overall parenting style
Research
suggests that parenting styles have a tremendous influence on children:
Parenting
based on warmth and firm discipline results in self-control, self-reliance, and
exploration in children;
Parenting
based on coercive and harsh discipline and lacking in warmth results in distrust
and withdrawn behaviors in children;
Permissive,
uninvolved and indulgent parenting results in worse self-control, self-reliance,
and exploration in children.
Judgemental
parenting can result in defiant children lacking in self confidence and self esteem
More recently, in a groundbreaking comprehensive study, researchers
found that family characteristics and parenting (e.g., sensitive caregiving,
cognitive stimulation, and positive involvement) in the first years of life
predict pre-academic skills and socio-emotional development and behavior
throughout the school years. In fact, the estimated effects of parenting are
often larger than the estimated effects of early childhood education to foster
positive child development. Family environments typically account for greater variance in children’s
outcomes, reflecting the indisputable fact that parents remain their children’s
first teachers, and what they do matters for children.
This puts a
bigger responsibility on the parents and the big question is with the current
age family structures and economic pressures “ARE THE PARENTS EQUIPPED TO RAISE
THEIR CHILDREN AS BALANCED PERSONALITIES”
As per most
experts having authority on child development, parent education as ―a process
that involves the expansion of insights, understanding and attitudes and the
acquisition of knowledge and skills about the development of both parents and
of their children and the relationship between them is becoming a key critical
component of the success of children in this highly competitive age.‖
"The
parent-child relationship is one of the longest lasting social ties human
beings establish," said Kira Birditt, lead author of the study and a
researcher at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research (ISR).
"This tie is often highly positive and supportive but it also commonly
includes feelings of irritation, tension and ambivalence."
As parents it is
our duty to rid our relationships with our children from irritation, tension
and ambivalence and provide the right environment for the growth of their unlimited
potential. Let’s not feel shy, let’s reach out and find support.
No comments:
Post a Comment